What if "Pouring from an empty cup" is overworking the modern woman?

Have you ever heard of the saying…”You can’t pour from an empty cup.” I have seen this phrase used as motivation or a reminder for women to take care of themselves or remind them to do self-care. At least this is how I have interpreted it for many years. Now, I am having second thoughts about that interpretation. I’m thinking of it as less of a reminder and more of a revealing reminder of the issue with modern womanhood. What if “filling our cups” is just encouraging us to do more. Duping us into continuing to have us in action ALL.THE.TIME. Always in service so that we lose ourselves and become frustrated that our actions are not creating the lives that we so desperately want.

I am all for doing and taking care of others. I have literally spent several decades of my life making a career out of it. I don’t necessarily want to change that womanly quality about myself or any other woman. We can’t. Caring for others is in our hormonal hardwiring, so changing this is a no go. But something we can change is the reason behind why we do things. As women, we need to stop believing that our actions will change how the world sees us, how our husband sees us, how our job sees us, how our kids see us, how the school PTO members see you…. are you getting the picture? I’ll give you a popular example, “I do everything around the house and my significant other does not notice.” The truth is your S.O. probably doesn’t notice because their feelings about the circumstance are not the same as yours. And that does not make them a terrible person. It makes them human and that’s okay. Instead, make the house about how you want it to look because those are your feelings and that’s what makes you happy. And for God-sake, if you need help, then ask for it.

Your actions are for you; use them to fill YOUR cup. Stop trying to use them to get validation from others because it will never happen and you’ll keep being frustrated.