A Window Into My Perspective
There is a window in my bathroom, the frosted plastic kind, that I look through every day. I love how the light shines through it. It makes me smile. It reminds me that I have grown away from fancy stuff and closer towards what is real.
Why am I sharing about my tiny plastic bathroom window? Because it is …
A Window Into My Perspective
In August of 2016, Andre (my husband) and I had to make some tough decisions. Our cycle with homes had been like this: buy a house, slowly flip it, sell it. The plan was exactly that with the 2016 ‘big house’ but that’s when things got really real. It was a two-story house, small pool, no yard... yep, we bought a house that had no yard for our dog Lily to do her business. What were we thinking? That was just the beginning of many “what were we thinking” moments. One in particular was Rocco (my son) breaking his leg one month after moving in. Then there was the time when the septic started backing up all over the downstairs wood floors. These kind of moments were endless in this big house that we thought we needed. The stress got to such a breaking point that one day Andre and I looked at each other and said, “What are we doing and why are we doing this?”
We sold our “big house” and moved into a small rental house.
After we finally admitted our big ‘dream house’ wasn’t givng us any happiness, we finished shining up the monster of a home and sold it.
I would like to now share with you a story about a woman who humbly embraced a minimalistic lifestyle. Sadly, that is not the case. Embarrassingly, I acted like a total child. Here I was, a grown-ass woman, crying while packing, feeling defeated, thinking we jumped on the wrong house a little too soon. I wanted to jump back in time and wipe it all away. But I knew I couldn’t and I had to submit to the fact that a smaller, “less stuff” house was what we needed.
We did take one huge step in a different direction. We found a small rental. We stuffed most of our belongings into the garage. This has been a humbling experience for me. I’ve been a “stuff” person all of my life. Packing up all of my pretty things, getting rid of or selling more things that we had acquired living those four years in the ‘big house’ was hard. But I had a nagging feeling deep inside that I was being called to do this. Take this leap of faith, let go and let Jesus take the wheel.
That was a year and a half ago, I can honestly say that huge step in a different direction has been one of the best steps I have taken. I am in a home where all I am required to fill it with is love. I have no desire to change anything. The floors are the floors. The wall color us the wall color. I was forced to just be happy with how things were.
That is where we all should start, happy with what we have before we make a change.
There is a window in my bathroom, the frosted plastic kind, that I look through every day. I love how the light shines through it. It makes me smile. It reminds me that I have grown away from fancy stuff and closer towards what is real. The stuff is not mine. This house is not mine. Even my children are not mine, they, like everything else, are a gift.
So instead of pushing, I stand still a little more and take it all in, with a grateful heart and in anticipation of what comes next.
I think this is the time of year to share this message while we are closing up 2018 and beginning a fresh new year. I wish for you, as you resolute, stand still and take it all in. Love yourself, love your family like crazy and love where you’re at… you’re supposed to be there. Loving and appreciating the body you are in right now. Love the space you are in right now. I urge you to find gratitude and perspective before you try to change another part of you. Please understand you were made in perfection already. No amount of stuff will make any of us fulfilled.